Monday, December 16, 2013

Getting There

As I watched my beloved Dallas Cowboys make another series of mental mistakes on offense this past Sunday leading to yet another preventable loss, something struck me.

I'm the Tony Romo of my LGS.

I'm not cute.  I'm no good with the ladies.  And I don't have millions in my bank account.  I'm Tony Romo because of my play style in Magic.  This revelation set me back.  It made me realize that something in me needs to change.

Let me take you back to a conversation I had at my LGS just a few nights before...

Another One Bites the Dust
It was getting to be late in the evening.  I'm wasn't tired but I also wasn't feeling great about continuing to play.  The deck I was pretty satisfied with at the start of the night had betrayed me.  My record for the evening was poor and I was questioning myself and my choices.  I sat down across from my opponent.  She looked at me and asked how I was doing.  Instead of responding with a platitude, I told her the truth.

Drafting Theros earlier that night, I felt that I had a pretty solid deck.  B/G, with a fair number of tricks.  I judged it to be solid, albeit with a slightly higher curve than I felt comfortable playing.  After playing a couple of opponents though I realized something was wrong with it.

I shared it with a friend who was pretty much everyone's go to for deck tech questions.  He looked through it, pausing occasionally to point out a good trick or a solid beater.  After he was done he did something he had never done before with one of my decks.  He handed it back to me.  He then looked up and said, "Seems ok, you should win some tonight with that.  Your curve is a little high, but B/G can be like that."  In the past when he had looked at decks for me he always had some advice.  This time though, he seemed to think otherwise.  Instead of laying it all out by color and mana cost to figure out how best to tweak it, he took a pass by handing the deck back to me.  This action alone told me that I had a good deck.  Sure, I probably didn't need one or two cards in there - but most were strong contributors to the strategy that revolved around B/G Theros draft decks.

So when I sat down across from Sarah, I opened up.  I don't think I had won a game at that point - and oddly enough neither had she.  I knew her to be strong player and one who thought more about her plays that most of the people in the room.  When I spoke, it felt like a confessional.  I felt a burden lift off my shoulders as I confided in her.

Heartbreak Hotel
"I'm not doing great tonight, but you knew that [seeing as how we were paired against each other].  I pulled a decent deck, but I just can't seem to 'get there'.  I can't close the deal and win matches with this...this mess.  Actually, I think it's how I play, I think I just don't do well closing out at the end.  I watch others do it all the time - especially to me.  They always seem to have the right combat trick or ability to overwhelm me at the last second.  Situations where I think I'm in control turn into one-sided beatings.  I know I'm close, but I must be playing wrong."

We played our matches then.  The first game was the same old story.  Sarah beat on me, and pretty easily too.  She beat on me so badly that she was actually apologizing.  Second game I won.  But it was the second game that I realized something.  As I was playing against Sarah, I felt like I was always in a better position.  I had a stronger board state at every step of the game.  I was in control.

And yet, I never felt that I was 'there'.  I never thought I was in control enough to put the game away.  Each move I made was calm and calculated to do two things.  Never leave me exposed to a counter-attack and to never overstep myself in my own attacks.  I wasn't playing to win - I was playing to eventually make it across the finish line.  And this isn't the first time.  When situations call for calm and collected, I'm hot and fast.  When I'm supposed to be pressing the advantage I find myself shoring up my defenses.  And when I'm supposed to be patient and hold back a trick, I'm always worrying that if I don't pull the trigger now that I won't get a better chance.  My ying and my yang are diametrically opposed to the point where I'm my own worst enemy.

Game three?  Sarah was apologizing again.  It felt like Foreman/Ali, and I was playing rope-a-dope.  Only thing was, I wasn't Ali.  I had no plan to come back.

Bitter Little Pill
The draft ended following our match.  If it didn't, I probably would have begged, 'No mas' and run home with my tail between my legs.  I was stunned.  How did I go 0-4 with such a solid deck in Theros draft?  I felt the answer was there, just waiting for me to pick it up off the white plastic table.  Instead, I put my coat on, picked up my bag and left the store.

I drove home that night thinking of plays, missed and otherwise.  I tried to recreate some defining moments in my head but was unsuccessful.  I'm just not one much for recall after a round is over and I'm not great on notes.  Perhaps that is something I need to start to do so I can go back and look at how to improve.  In the meantime, I need to get back to the comparison.

We Aren't the Champions
My man, Mr. Tony Romo, threw away another critical game last night.  As I watched him and the Cowboys play in the final 15 minutes, I realized something.  He was a part of a broken system.  The offensive play calling was atrocious.  As quarterback, Tony could have and should have recognized that.  He is the face of the team, the general on the field.  All he had to do was call an audible, switch to a run and move the sticks.  The Cowboys were pushing too hard when they should have been burning clock time, deliberately moving forward.  Even at the very end, when they had sufficient time to not rush and get the job done, they still made bad calls and executed poorly.

Tony was executing a plan, not unlike I was the other night, without thinking about the consequences.  Or he was thinking too much and trying to do more than the hand that he was dealt would let him.  The Cowboys threw the game away - just as I think I've done too many times to count.  In Magic, you have to know when attack and when to sit on your hands.  You have to understand when to slow the game down and when to go no huddle.

Failing to understand these things and you end up like Romo.  Ineffective when it matters the most.  As an outsider, it is easy for me to see why Romo failed on Sunday.

I don't know the reason for each of my game losses on Friday.  But as I was the one holding the cards, I know I bear responsibility.  So to find a way to stop losing, I need to start to take a few moments each game to try to take the long view.  I need to look at how my opponent is playing and what they're playing and it will effect me.  I need to realize that there are times that I need to change my posture from attack to defense - and vice versa.

But most of all, I have to realize one important thing.  It's what Romo has to realize as well.  The cards didn't betray me.  I betrayed them.  I'm done being my store's bad example of a player.  I hope Tony looks back on last night's game and realizes something similar.  Maybe then we can both be Champions.

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